Holidays and Grief: What the Bereaved Need From Friends and Family

I know it is hard.  I know you don’t truly understand how I feel.  You can’t.  It wasn’t your child.

I know I may look and act like I’m “better”.  I know that you would love for things to be like they were:  BEFORE.  But they aren’t.

I know my grief interferes with your plans.  I know it is uncomfortable to make changes in traditions we have observed for years.  But I can’t help it I didn’t ask for this to be my life.

I know that every year I seem to need something different.  I know that’s confusing and may be frustrating.  But I’m working this out as I go.  I didn’t get a “how to” manual when I buried my son.  It’s new for me every year too.

So I’m trying to make it easier on all of us.  

I’m trying to be brave and think ahead and offer up what I can to help you understand.

Read the rest here:  Grief and Holidays:What the Bereaved Need From Friends and Family

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

10 thoughts on “Holidays and Grief: What the Bereaved Need From Friends and Family”

  1. What can we do for those in pain? Grief is such a private thing for most. Those in it try to act brave. I am lost for words of comfort and usually what I say sounds like a platitude. Rhetoric. I pray for my friend but it just doesn’t seem like enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are asking the right questions which shows you are leaning in and wanting to love your friend well. There’s no perfect way to comfort a griever. Honestly, most of us just want someone who will not run away or be frightened off. Your presence is a great gift. You really don’t have to say anything at all. If you feel like you need/want to, then say what you said here, “I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I’m here. You don’t have to be brave for me.” ❤


    1. That is an excellent and very sad picture of what this life is like. I am so sorry for your pain and your loss. The firsts are hard. And having so many things in a row is harder still. Praying that the Lord gives you strength and showers your heart with His love, grace and mercy. ❤


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