Day Seventeen of Kathleen Duncan’s June 1-30 challenge.
The prompt: Write a Haiku (Seventeen Syllables)
It was an interesting challenge to distill a message to just 17 syllables.
I have long believed that each life is also a song.
This is mine:
I am a song bird.
I sing love, grace, mercy, peace-
I learned the hard way.
“You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5b
I remember standing in our field with my husband at sundown one day, thankfulness and grace and mercy and wonder flooding my heart-and I whispered, “surely my cup overflows!”
Surely, God’s hand is in this, is on our lives-He has brought us to this place of blessing.
And that’s how I used to always think of that verse-the cup overflowing with goodness and blessing.
But what about when the cup overflows with sorrow?
With pain?
With tragedy, trials and temptations?
Jesus knew about that cup. That’s the cup He begged the Father to take from Him.
The cup that was bitter and hard to swallow.
He prayed three times, He sweat blood and He battled His flesh so that His spirit could conform to the Father’s will.
And in the end, He submitted Himself to the Father’s plan.
He was obedient, even to death, even to death that He did not deserve, did not HAVE to suffer, did not WANT to suffer.
I have buried a son.
And it is the most painful thing I have ever had to bear.
It’s a burden I never anticipated and it’s a burden of which I will not be free until I join him in Heaven.
There are some parents who have suffered the loss of multiple children. Or who have suffered child loss and other difficult life circumstances.
If my cup is full and overflowing, theirs is overflowing still more.
Where to take that full cup?
Where to find the strength to carry it, to drink it to the dregs?
When my heart screams, “No more!” and my body cries, “I can’t do this!”, I look to my Savior for the model of how to carry on.
Only in Christ, Who Himself bore the cup and Who drank its bitter fullness can I hope for strength and redemption.
The One Who knows my pain can carry my pain.
The One Who lives again will breathe life into my heart.
The One Who redeems what the enemy has stolen will turn my mourning to dancing.
This cup will not always overflow with sorrow. Around the banquet table at the wedding supper of the Lamb, it will once again be full of joy.
You make me know the path of life; in your presence is unbounded joy, in your right hand eternal delight.
Psalm 16:11 CJB
These past days have been harder than some.
Many, unrelated events conspired to draw my heart’s attention more pointedly to Dominic’s absence. The hot mid-day sun keeps me inside when I’m usually outside and working hard-which keeps my hands and mind busy.
Summer used to be the time when more flexible schedules opened wide the possiblity for barbecues and lazy evenings watching fireflies and chatting in the dark.
Now it’s just one more season where nothing will ever be the same.
So I was reminded again that though I am stonger, I still carry a heavy load.
Read more here: Stronger
Grief and loss broke my heart and life wide open-no more hidden corners, no more walled-off spaces.
And the vast expanse left by Dominic’s absence will be filled.
Nature hates a vacuum.
What I pour into my heart or allow God to pour into it determines whether I am changed in a way that blesses me and others or not.
I don’t have a choice in being broken.
But I have a choice in being filled. I can position my heart to hear from God and to dwell on His promises and Person or invite bitterness to move in.
I pray that you will have greater understanding in your heart. Then you will know the hope that God has chosen to give us. I pray that you will know that the blessings God has promised his holy people are rich and glorious.
Ephesians 1:18 ICB
Let me begin by saying I purposely remove myself from the 24/7 news cycle that beats our ears and tries hard to hammer hearts into whatever shape a particular organization deems most meritorious.
So it is no surprise that I was unaware of the Orlando tragedy until well into the day on Sunday.
And I don’t know what the pundits and politicians or social media gurus are saying.
I only know how it feels.
I know how it feels to have an officer come to your door and tell you that your child is never coming home.
I know how it feels to receive the devastating news that whatever you said the last time you saw or spoke to your child is the LAST thing you will ever have the opportunity to say to them.
I know how it feels to stand, dumbstruck and reeling, with the instant realization that your world has been wrecked beyond repair-To have to whisper to your heart, “you’ve got to make calls, make connections, make arrangements”.
Oh! My!
Why, why, why can we not as a nation simply step back and embrace those who have lost so much instead of standing on the ruins of their lives and posturing for ratings, rankings and political, social or moral agendas????
I wrote before, when commenting here on the incident at the Cincinatti zoo:
If we covered the stories of families who have lost children with the same zeal and creative journalism as we do the lives and deaths of endangered animals, that would change.
If the despair, heartbreak, brokenness and utter horror of bereaved parents’ lives were on display like the sickening piles of poached elephants and rhinos then at least we could have a discussion that was more informed and even-tempered.
We are a death avoidant culture-we splatter gore across the screen in video games and movies-but we DO NOT discuss the ongoing impact loss has on the ones left behind.
These lives are not numbers, they are not just names or a sweet little synoptic bio plastered on Twitter, Facebook or an AP newswire.
They are people-with families, friends and loved ones.
There is a single, appropriate response to this tragedy–deep mourning for the lives lost to hatred and violent action and prayer for the ones left behind.
I refuse to entertain the musings and posturing of ANYONE who does not first-and for an appropriate length of time-acknowledge the loss of sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers-each a unique creation with an eternal soul.
Tears.
TEARS are what should be filling the airwaves, the streets, our altars.
This November 14th will mark 7yrs since my momma was killed saving my life. Some people think I should be over it, healed and moved on. Those people didn’t see what I saw that day. They didn’t have to attempt life saving techniques on their mom as I did. Only to have all the work, […]
via PTSD Daily Struggle: Helpful Hints — Love You More
Day Twelve of Kathleen Duncan’s June 1-30 challenge.
The prompt: 12 things you are grateful for
Like Kathleen, the 12th of each month marks the anniversary of the accident that took my son’s life. And like many bereaved parents, the date is etched in memory and re-etched every time it rolls around.
I love the idea of reclaiming the ground which the enemy has stolen by resolving to remind my heart of the promises of God that uphold me in the midst of my sorrow.
I am grateful for promises contained in His Word. They are manna, bread from heaven as I walk the wilderness of grief.
Here are 12 I savor:
1. One day there will be no more tears because God will restore and redeem every hurtful thing:
2. A single day in the presence of my Savior is better than a thousand years here on earth:
Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.Lord Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.Psalm 84:10-12 NIV
3. I can trust God to finish what He started-in me AND in Dominic:
4. The Lord is good and He is my stronghold, even in this trouble:
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust Him.
Nahum 1:7
5. The Lord will restore the years the locust has eaten-He will give back what the enemy has stolen:
I will restore to you the years which the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.
Joel 2:25
6. God will carry me, even to my old age-as long as it takes-until I am in His presence and with my son:
7. My Shepherd is with me in the Valley of the Shadow of Death:
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4 KJV
8. This trial will refine my faith and it will shine as pure gold on the day Jesus is revealed:
Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine. Even gold, which can be destroyed, is tested by fire; and so your faith, which is much more precious than gold, must also be tested, so that it may endure. Then you will receive praise and glory and honor on the Day when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:7 GNT
9. Death is defeated because Christ is risen:
10. I am struck down, but not destroyed or abandoned:
We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10
11. Even as I walk through the Valley of Weeping, God turns my tears to springs of life:
12. God will turn my mourning into dancing. He will fill my mouth with songs of gladness:
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing. You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness. That my soul may sing praise and not be silent. O Lord my God I will give thanks to You forever.
Psalm 30:11-12
The cartoon character Popeye responded to critics with “I am what I am”.
And while this phrase can be used to excuse all sorts of bad behavior, there is a ring of truth to it.
Every one of us is the sum of our experiences. Each of us is hemmed in by what we know and how we are made.
We are more than the things that happen to us.
But, in part, we are Defined by Moments.
Advertising works on a simple principle: exposure.
The more exposure a person has to the product, the more likely that person will want to buy it.
My eyes lead my heart.
I go where my gaze rests.
What I stare at changes me.
In the first moments, days, weeks after Dominic’s accident, it was very hard to lift my eyes from the reality of pain and sorrow that began like a hard kernel in my heart and grew to a mushroom cloud of destruction that took over my whole body.
But even then, God broke through to remind me all was not dark, all was not lost, and, in the end, all would be well.
See that I am God. See that I am in everything. See that I do everything. See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally. See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began, by the same power, wisdom and love with which I made it. How can anything be amiss?
Julian of Norwich
As the cloud began to lift, I was able, by degrees, to choose where to turn my eyes. I could read and write and focus on truth, or I could fill my gaze with deception, darkness and lies.
I am going to stare at SOMETHING-I have to decide what or Who will fill the horizon of my days.
In my sorrow, I can stare down the black hole of death or I can lift my eyes to the Hope of Heaven.
I can linger long at the grave or I can point my face to the sky and look for His return.
My gaze can rest on the emptiness of today or it can rest secure in the promise of tomorrow.
I can sit at the feet of Jesus and let His Presence fill my eyes and guide my heart or I can turn away and let despair overtake my soul.
I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet.
Psalm 27:4 MSG
When Moses came from God’s Presence, he glowed.
His face was transformed because he beheld the glory of the Lord.
He was sustained in the dry season of leading the Israelites through the wilderness by the abundant life he received in communion with God.
This season of grief is hard.
It is DRY, and if I focus on the sorrow, it will suck the life right out of me.
I feel the sorrow. I feel the pain. There is no escaping reality.
But I can fix my eyes on the truth that this world is not all there is.
I can focus my gaze on the finished work of Christ and the promise of reunion made possible by His blood.
Wearing Michael Jordan’s shoes won’t make me a basketball star.
But spending time in the Presence of Jesus will make me more like Him.
As I expose myself repeatedly to His grace, mercy and beauty , I am transformed.
Our faces, then, are not covered. We all show the Lord’s glory, and we are being changed to be like him. This change in us brings more and more glory. And it comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18 ICB
thelifeididntchoose 