Sometimes I Just Want To Be Me!

Even in the very first hours after the news, my brain began instructing my heart, “Now, try to be brave.  Try not to disappoint people.  Try to say the right thing, do the right thing and be the example you should be.”

Whatever that meant.

As I made phone calls and received concerned friends and family members I was so aware that they would take a cue from me-how much can I say, how hard can I cry, should I hug or stand back, should I talk about him or be silent lest it make the tears fall harder?

And here-almost five years later-I still feel like I need to lead the way in conversations and social encounters.

Read the rest here:  Can I Just Be Me?

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

2 thoughts on “Sometimes I Just Want To Be Me!”

  1. I’m so broken and don’t know what to do without her… I miss her sooo much… tomorrow is 6 months and I still feel like she’s going to walk in the door and be like “Mom! I love you!!!” I don’t know what to do so many days. I have amazing friends but I sit here alone talking to her memory. I’m so alone…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss! This is a lonely journey even when you are surrounded by people who love you and want to help. So much grief work has to be done inside our own hearts. I pray that the Lord brings you a sweet, compassionate friend to walk with you. May He overwhelm your heart with His love, grace and mercy. ❤


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