Some of us enter trembling through the door of a new year.
This last year wasn’t so good and our hearts are broken.
What if the next year is worse? How will we manage? Where can we hide from bad news, bad outcomes, disastrous trauma?
Truth is, we can’t.
So here we are, bravely marching in, hanging on to hope and begging God for mercy.
Read the rest here: New Year’s Prayer for Hurting Hearts
We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We plot and plan and hope and dream but in the end we have very little control over how our story ultimately plays out.
So we are left each New Year’s Eve with some good memories, some not so good ones and some we cling to like gold from a treasure chest because they are all we have.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
Never.
Read the rest here: New Year’s Eve and Auld Lang Syne
There’s an old adage: Misery loves company.
I’m not sure that’s really true.
What I think misery longs for is compassionate companionship.
I think broken hearts need to know they are not alone, that they are not an aberration and that deep sorrow is an appropriate response to profound loss.
What I think folks sitting in darkness need is someone to light a candle and remind them that the night won’t last forever.
That’s why I founded Heartache and Hope, the ministry.
If you visit the website, you’ll see one of my very favorite quotes:
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God.
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, quote from The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming
And that is why I am offering four retreats for bereaved moms in 2025.
These are small, intimate gatherings of six to eight moms at my family’s property in the panhandle of Florida offered free of charge to those who come.
Bereaved moms can join me in a quiet, rural setting for a weekend of rest, renewal and restoration through fellowship, study of God’s Word and unfettered sharing of our hearts, our stories and our children.
The theme is “Broken Into Beautiful: Inviting Hope to Heal Our Hearts”.
I’ve had a decade to think about and design the kind of gathering I would have benefited from early on in this journey. We begin on Thursday evening (instead of the traditional Friday evening) to give us additional space and time to get to know one another, to develop relationship and to grow toward trust which promotes profound and breakthrough sharing which leads to healing growth.
I have no illusions.
One weekend is not going to put the pieces back together but one weekend can provide the inspiration and confidence that the pieces can be put back together.
We will never be unblemished or unbroken but we can be beautiful again.
Our stories are part of THE story-the story that God is writing not only for us but for all eternity.
Jesus is our Shepherd King who longs to bind up our wounds.
Mercy and goodness don’t just follow us-they chase us down, overtake us and weave the broken bits into a beautiful testimony of love and faithfulness-if we let them.
Are you ready to bring your heart to the table of grace where hope can begin to heal it?
Then join me for one of these retreats.
I’m praying already for the moms God will invite and for the work Holy Spirit will do.
Be brave.
Available dates are: February 6-9, 2025; May 1-4, 2025; August 7-10, 2025; October 9-12, 2025.
Details here: https://www.heartacheandhope.org/
There are so many ways child loss impacts relationships!
Some of the people you think will stand beside you for the long haul either never show up or disappear right after the funeral.
Some people you never expected to hang around not only come running but choose to stay.
And every. single. relationship. gets more complicated.
When your heart is shattered, there are lots of sharp edges that end up cutting you and everyone around you. It is pretty much inevitable that one or more relationships will need mending at some point.
Read the rest here: Emotional Overload and T.M.I.
It would be helpful if the world could just stop for a day or a week (or a year!) when your heart is shattered by the news that one of the children you birthed into this world has suddenly left it.
But it doesn’t.
And immediately all the roles I have played for decades are overlaid by a new role: bereaved mother. Except instead of being definitive or even descriptive, this role is more like a foggy blanket that obscures and disorients me as I struggle to fulfill all the roles to which I’ve become accustomed.
Read the rest here: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend
In the daylight
In the dark
In my dreams
Things creep in at the corner of my vision
Or sounds slip in unnoticed
Until my brain puts them together and screams, “Oh no!”.
Read the rest here: Swallowing Panic
I almost didn’t have a post for today.
Christmas Eve I barely slept because of physical pain.
Christmas Day was full and demanded my attention.
We had a good day yesterday.
Family that hadn’t been here last year managed to arrive (sans luggage) in spite of technical and weather delays. New family was here for the first time. We facetimed with my oldest son and the grandboys. My eighty-nine year old dad was able to get around without pain on two brand new knees and we celebrated his and my daughter’s December birthdays. Everyone treated the day like the gift it was-giving and receiving hugs and slipping some much-needed chats in between.
I’m thankful.
Today I’m sitting in the quiet afterglow of too many carbohydrates and a tree emptied of its gifts yet still shining in the corner.
I’m worn out.
I’m still barely able to type but the pain is better. The dull ache in my left hand is much like the longing in my heart for Dominic.
I can function but it hurts.
So if you woke this morning amazed as I am that yesterday went as well as it did only to find yourself more tearful, more tender, more likely to want to crawl back in bed, that’s not only normal, it’s perfectly OK.
Rest, friend.
The family can eat some of those leftovers in the fridge (or not!). The phone calls and the text messages can wait.
Give yourself permission to sit in the sacred sorrow of missing and let the tears fall.
It won’t always be like this-the chasm between what should be and what is.
One day, ONE GLORIOUS DAY, everything the enemy killed, stole and destroyed will be restored, redeemed and resurrected.
Hold onto to that.
If you want to truly appreciate the New Testament you’ve got to begin in the Old.
Jesus is written on every page, revealed in increasing measure in every story.
From Genesis to Revelation, God the Father displays His purpose, plan and passion for His children.
The ultimate unveiling is Immanuel-God with us.
Read the rest here: Advent: Glory, Mercy and Truth
Oh, dear one who opened your eyes to the morning light carrying wounds so deep no one can see!
I am so, so sorry.
When things have gone terribly wrong it’s hard to get up and make merry.
I know.
Read the rest here: Christmas Morning Prayer for Hurting Hearts
I admit it-patience is not my strong suit.
I’m a person of action rather than deliberation.
Sometimes that gets me into trouble. Almost always it makes me intolerant of delays.
So I have to be very, very careful not to apply my impatience to God’s timing.
Read the rest here: Advent: Right On Time
thelifeididntchoose 