I don’t want pity.
I don’t want people passing me in the street or in the sanctuary secretly shaking their head and thinking, “poor woman”.
I would like to be understood-at least as well as anyone standing on the outside of child loss can understand…
A bereaved parent’s grief doesn’t fit an easy-to-understand narrative. And it flies in the face of the American “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality.
Read the rest here: Loving Well: Understanding the Grieving Heart
I wrote this post in an effort to help the nonbereaved understand that funerals and memorials and other outward symbols of “good-bye” are only the BEGINNING to our sense of loss and sorrow. And that while everyone else walks away and goes back to the life they had the day before, we stand on the threshold to a different life we are unprepared for, know nothing about and do not want.
“A funeral or memorial service seems like a final chapter. We close the coffin, close the doors and everyone goes home.
But for bereaved parents and their surviving children, it’s not an end, it is a beginning.
Much like a wedding or birth serves as the threshold to a new way of life, a new commitment, a new understanding of who you are, burying a child does the same.
I walked away from the cemetary overwhelmed by the finality of death–not in a theological sense–I believe firmly that my son lives with Jesus–but with the undeniable fact that he is no longer available to me on this earth.”
Read more: Loving Well: Transitioning From “Good-bye” to Grief
I asked other bereaved parents to share from their experience the things that were helpful and not so helpful to them after losing a child. I was amazed by the answers!
What follows is a combination of their words and mine–blended together to help others in this journey.
If you are a bereaved parent, and have wanted to gently remind amily and friends what is helpful and what isn’t-sharing a post to Facebook can be a non-threatening way to let them know using someone else’s voice.
“When Dominic died, I didn’t get a manual on what to do. I didn’t get an orientation into how to be a grieving parent. So when some people asked how they could help me and my family, I really didn’t know.”
Read the rest here: 31 Practical Ways to Love Grieving Parents in the First Few Days
Beginning today and through the next week, I will be sharing again a series of posts written to help those journeying the valley of grief and those walking with them on the journey. I asked other bereaved parents to share from their experience the things that were helpful and not so helpful to them after losing a child.
Many of these insights are useful for blessing anyone in any difficult situation–we can all use a little help from our friends.
If you are a bereaved parent, and you have wanted to let family and friends know what’s helpful and what isn’t-sharing a post to Facebook can be a non-threatening way to let them know using someone else’s voice.
“No one is prepared to bury their child.
But some of us have to.”
Read the rest: Loving Well: Meaningful Ministry to Grieving Parents