Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.
Brene Brown
We CAN hold some of it in.
For awhile.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2019/04/23/you-cant-hold-it-in-so-let-it-out/
Month: April 2020
Here’s To You, Friends !
I have many friends who have chosen to get up when they could have stayed down, who have chosen love when they could have become heartless and who still smile even when life isn’t easy.
I love you. 
Moms and Dads, this one’s for you.
For not giving up or giving in.
For refusing to become bitter and jaded and instead choosing to be love and light.
You Don’t Lose Them All At Once
It would be easier, in a way, if it happened all at once.
If the vivid memories of his voice, his laugh, his body language, his sense of humor just disappeared-POOF!-now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t. Then I could make a single adjustment.
But that’s not how it is. Instead, the living proof of his existence recedes like a wave from the shoreline, only there’s no returning surge to remind me of the force that was Dominic.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2016/04/18/slow-fade/
Faith Starts With Questions
In the midst of this uncertain time many people are asking questions.
That’s a good thing.
Because unlike others who may insist that faith never questions, I maintain that faith begins with questions.
Who needs a God who knows everything if they never wonder about anything?
It’s no sin, to ask, “Why”.
❤
The Psalms are filled with questions.
Jesus Himself asked, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” from the cross.
God invites us to ask.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/04/17/it-is-no-sin-to-ask-why/
Please Ask Me, Not My Kids, How I’m Doing
It may seem like the easiest way to get an inside scoop on how I’m REALLY doing-but don’t do it.
Please don’t ask my kids how I’m doing.
Respect the fact that they have their own grief burden. Respect family privacy and understand you are putting them in an impossible position.
If you want to know-to REALLY know-how I’m doing, ask me.
Read the rest here: Please Don’t Ask My Kids How I Am Doing
Child Loss: Not A Single Event
Child loss is not a single event.
Of course the moment when the last breath leaves a body is noted and duly recorded because the law requires such. I can pull out Dominic’s death certificate (what an ugly thing to have to say about my child!) and it reads: Time of Death: 1:10 a.m. April 12, 2014.
But I didn’t know about it until 4: 15 that morning when the deputy rang the bell.
So for me, his death came then.
Read the rest here: Child Loss is Not a Single Event
I Won’t Let Bitterness Be My Legacy
Oh, how easy it would be to become bitter!
If I’m honest, part of me just wants to tell the world to “Get lost!”.
But the wiser part of me knows that’s neither a helpful nor healthy response to even this most awful burden of child loss.
Lament is how we bring our sorrow to God. Without lament, we won’t know how to process pain. Silence, bitterness, and even anger can dominate our spiritual lives instead.
~Mark Vroegop – Dark Clouds Deep Mercy
Because my bitter spirit wouldn’t stop with me. It would spread like kudzu on an Alabama roadside.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2019/04/14/bitterness-is-a-terrible-legacy/
Start By Showing Up
Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of Dominic running ahead to Heaven. I spent a portion of the day thinking about all the people who ministered to our family in those first days and weeks.
What a difference they made!
When our hearts were full of sorrow, they helped us bear the burden. When we couldn’t think straight and make important decisions they came alongside and guided us through. When the dark closed in around us, they held our hands and held a light.
If you want to know what to do when someone you love is thrust into a life they didn’t choose, show up.
You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present.
❤
This weekend another family joined the ranks of the bereaved.
A beloved son left for heaven in a car accident.
The mama’s best friend messaged to ask what she could do to help this newly broken heart.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/04/05/what-can-i-do-show-up/
Six Years: For You, A Moment; For Me, A Lifetime
I used to look at tombstones in cemeteries and do the math between the dates.
I was most focused on how long this person or that person walked the earth.
I still do that sometimes. But now I do something else as well.
I look to the left and the right to see if the person who ran ahead left parents behind. My eye is drawn to the solitary stones with the same last name next to a double monument clearly honoring a married pair.
And then I do a different kind of math.
Read the rest here: For You, a Moment; For Me, a Lifetime
Holy Saturday: Living Between the Crucifixion and the Resurrection
I think this unprecedented season of fear and uncertainty is awakening more hearts to the hard task of suspenseful waiting.
The world longs for a cure or a vaccine or something to guarantee safety against this virus making its rounds and threatening us and those we love.
In the meantime there’s not one thing we can do to make it happen.
Many of us are hiding away in our homes. Some are praying fervently for provision, for safety, for guidance, for hope while others are simply passing time until whatever happens, happens.
I imagine it’s very much like what the disciples felt when they realized no miracle would deliver Jesus from death and they might well be next.
Holy Saturday, 2020
It is tempting to forget that there were three long days and nights between the crucifixion and the resurrection because the way we observe this season rushes us past the pain to embrace the promise.
But it’s not hard for me to imagine how the disciples felt when they saw Jesus was dead. It was neither what they expected nor what they prayed for.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2016/03/26/living-between-the-crucifixion-and-the-resurrection/
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