Melanie

Mother’s Day 2024: A Letter to My Living Children*

I shared this for the first time seven years ago.

Before my mother’s illness and death, before the frighteningly early arrival of our little Captain and the less-frightening and less early arrival of his brother, LT, before an overseas deployment, a destructive hurricane, Covid19, and too many other stressful events to list.

I have watched my kids meet every challenge-sometimes with grace, sometimes with grit, sometimes with both.

They are different people than they would have been if Dominic still walked beside us. They know things their peers can’t even guess.

We all lost so much when we lost Dom. But we still have each other.

And that’s a treasure.❤

I never thought it possible to love you more than I already did.

But I do.

Your brother’s untimely departure has opened my heart in a whole new way to the glory that is your presence. It has made me drink you in like water in the desert.

Read the rest here: A Letter To My Living Children*

Mother’s Day 2024: Holidays Can Be Hard…

This will be the eleventh Mother’s Day since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven.

Every year has been different because families continue to grow and change and the world turns and life marches on.

Every year presents unique challenges and particular paths that must be navigated anew. It’s always an emotional roller coaster.

Read the rest here: Holidays Can Be Hard-What To Do About Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day 2024: A Peek into This Mama’s Thoughts

I know how tender these days are for bereaved moms leading up to the corporate outpouring of love and admiration for mothers.

It’s a blessing and a curse for those of us who have one or more children in Heaven.

A precious opportunity to remember the joy and beauty of holding and loving a child of our heart but also a reminder that one is no longer within arm’s length.

It’s OK (MORE than OK) if this week is punctuated by smiles and tears.

It’s perfectly normal to have moments when grief overtakes you followed by moments of admiration and thanksgiving for the child or children still here.

It’s just how it is.

❤ Melanie

Ninety miles an hour-that’s how fast my mind can go from here to there.

From what’s in front of me to what’s behind me.

From laughter to swallowing sobs.

We sit in a living room surrounded by toys and playing with children, talking about life and love and plans and people. The little brown face that turns his eyes to mine looks so much like Dominic I have to suck in my breath.

Giggles. Squeals. Cars running up and down my arm and around my feet.

I will never see Dominic’s children.

Read the rest here: A Peek Inside a Grieving Mother’s Thoughts

Truth: Even the Worst Day of My Life Only Lasted 24 Hours

It’s been just over ten years since Dominic left us suddenly, unexpectedly, and without warning.

Thankfully my heart has healed enough that every day is no longer filled with tears.

But there are still hard days, still challenging seasons.

And when they feel like they might last forever, I remind myself that even the worst day of my life was just twenty-four hours.

Night fell, the earth turned, and another sunrise showed up on cue.

❤

I don’t know just when I figured it out, but somewhere in this Valley it dawned on me-NO day lasts forever.

Many feel like they do.

The day I got the news stretched impossibly long in front of me as calls were made and people came to be wtih us.

But even THAT day ended. Night fell, the earth turned, and another sunrise showed up on cue.

Read the rest here: Twenty-four Hours

Grief Journey: Flashbacks

I originally shared this years ago-when grief was newer and nearly every day meant tears.

I’m stronger now and better able to carry this load called “child loss”. But if I’m honest, the missing is greater, the longing keener than it was in the early days when memories were still fresh and easily retrieved.

Still, there are places and things that draw my heart right back to the fresh faced little boy, the smart aleck teen, the ambitious, courageous and accomplished young man that was Dominic.

❤ Melanie

Every room holds memories. Every footfall echoes past days. Every window frames some precious vignette in my mind’s eye.

Inescapable.

Most days I’ve learned to turn down the volume. But today it would not be denied.

Read the rest here: Flashback

International Bereaved Mother’s Day 2024: An Open Letter to My Fellow Sisters in Loss

Dear Mama,

I know that you never-in your wildest imagination-thought you would need a day set aside for your broken heart and your empty arms.

Who thinks when they learn a new life is growing inside that this same life might be cut short? What heart is brave enough to consider the possibility?

Yet here you are.

I’m so, so sorry.

But there are a few things I want you to know.

Read the rest here: International Bereaved Mother’s Day: An Open Letter to my Fellow Sisters in Loss

Ten Years: Still Learning to Fly

These years since Dominic ran ahead to heaven feel like instrument flying.

I’m in the clouds.

The landmarks I’ve used for navigation all my life are obscured and sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m upside down or right side up. I don’t know if I’m going fast enough to stay in the air or if I’m about to stall. I’m tempted to use my feelings to determine true north and to decide on a course of action.

But I know if I do, I’m likely to crash.

Read the rest here: Flying Lessons

Oh, Sweet Mama! Your Child Matters.

I know many who read this blog belong to closed online bereavement groups.

That’s a beautiful thing- a place where we can share our pain with others who understand it in a judgement-free zone.

We often post photos and our child(ren)’s story in the closed groups.

But today I want to take a moment to provide a public forum for anyone who wishes to take advantage of it.

Read the rest here: Your Child Matters

International Bereaved Mother’s Day 2024

International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States. This year it’s next Sunday, May 5, 2024.

I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.

For those of us who have children in heaven, setting aside a day to acknowledge that unique mother/child relationship is helpful.

Read the rest here: International Bereaved Mother’s Day

Ten Years: My Season of Sorrow: How a Heart Marks the Days

It’s different for every heart.

But each of us who know child loss have a season of grief.

It’s so much more than “just” the day our child left for Heaven.

For me, it starts in November and runs through the end of May-fully half of

every.

single.

year.

Read the rest here: Season of Grief: How a Heart Marks the Days

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